Time

Time has been flying lately. Work has taken on a life of its own. It feels great, but hectic.

The kids are so big.

Gone are the hours of introspection and blogging, now I am just lucky to string 140 characters together.

I am so behind on this blog, my other blog, the running associated with said blog.

I have another half marathon in September, so I will start officially training for it in June.

The not so lazy days of summer await.

Goal setting

This week I registered to join Team in Training working towards the Hampton's Half Marathon on 10/02/10. I know myself and the only way to keep up this work (the fitness piece) is to set goals. I am driven by deadlines and to be honest, fear.

I am afraid I will gain back the weight
I am afraid I will not finish the run
I am afraid I will fail myself
I am afraid this will not be the last time I lose this poundage

All these are fears are normal and manageable.

This is a life change, the scale may tick up or down a lb here and there but this is the last time I will lose these 25+ lbs
I will train hard and push myself
I will seek support when I need it
See #1

Fear is a great motivator, as long as you do not let it debilitate you.

Courage, Jenny, Courage
Run, Jenny, Run

Erev Day 66

Here I am on day 65 of my 66 days of looking very closely at my diet, exercise and general habits. I eat better, I drink less and unless I am traveling for work or on vacation, I work out 6 days a week. I do something to push myself almost every day and feel badly if I don't.

On the subject of feeling badly, the only thing that feels crummy, other than occasional muscle soreness, is the time away from my boys. In order to get to work out, I have to leave before they get up and often have work things or am forced (by work mostly) to exercise at night missing bedtime.

It's a bad feeling to talk to your child on the phone when you slept in the same house as them but did not see them awake. I just can't think of any other way to do it. I am so happy to have lost 15 lbs in the last 65 days and am working hard towards another 10 - 15 lbs until I am at a healthy BMI and am set to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I only regret sometimes the toll it takes on all three of my boys. Tom is often left alone with them so that I can work out. The benefits are for everyone, including him, that I am healthy, but I can't help feeling a little guilty.

Perhaps it is just a sad day for me. I miss my boys but not the old me, and I like these muscles that are forming and the endurance I have been building. I guess it is a trade off. I was not fat and happy, so something's gotta give.

I keep telling Max as soon as he is old enough, he can come running with me.

Half way to 66

Today is day 33 of my 66 day renewal. My eating is much better, except that I drank too much wine at a gala last night and feel crummy today because of it! I am exercising regularly and have lost ten + pounds. I weigh in again on Monday and am curious as to how I am doing. My body feels stronger, I sleep better and my clothes are fitting better. I have only skipped a workout when I was sick and make sure to do something 6 days a week.

Is this a habit yet? How about half way to a habit. It no longer feels like work but rather the toolkit I need to get healthy. I love my @66days twitter feed, I have sourced some of the most interesting voices in health and wellness and relish checking in on what they have to say.

Until Monday ... here's to half way!

Day #30

So I am down 10.5 lbs and working hard at keeping the momentum going. I got past a few historical hurdles, in fact.

1. Sickness: Traditionally, when I get sick during a "health kick" and I give up. I feel like I have become weak, eaten comfort food and really what is the point. This time I stuck with my goals and my nutrition and am healthy again after a nasty viral/bacterial infection and am still on program.

2. Open bar event: Anything that has an open bar and passed hors d'oeuvres has been a major pitfall for me. This past Saturday night I managed to eat and drink within reason at a family bar mitzvah. I have to say I was super proud.

So here I am making progress and I am anxious about continuing my success and keeping it off and staying strong and ignoring the voices of  The Resistance as Seth Godin calls it. The Resistance is what I fight everyday.

I have a ways to go (at least 15 to 20 lbs) but I am motivated and well on my way!

Ouch.

I got on the treadmill for a half an hour yesterday and am in such pain today! Need to get back into WW; I get lazy and overeat, drink and skip the gym. And the thing is, I know I am happier when I'm in shape! It's just that the road to get there looks so different this time. I am doing the Blueprint Cleanse in two weeks; have booked mini training sessions at NYSC (half an hour so it s cheaper and I can shower and get back to work.) So now I need to find the resolve and the discipline to stick with this course of action.

There is no amount of money (not that there is much to spare) that will buy me resolve.