Erev Day 66

Here I am on day 65 of my 66 days of looking very closely at my diet, exercise and general habits. I eat better, I drink less and unless I am traveling for work or on vacation, I work out 6 days a week. I do something to push myself almost every day and feel badly if I don't.

On the subject of feeling badly, the only thing that feels crummy, other than occasional muscle soreness, is the time away from my boys. In order to get to work out, I have to leave before they get up and often have work things or am forced (by work mostly) to exercise at night missing bedtime.

It's a bad feeling to talk to your child on the phone when you slept in the same house as them but did not see them awake. I just can't think of any other way to do it. I am so happy to have lost 15 lbs in the last 65 days and am working hard towards another 10 - 15 lbs until I am at a healthy BMI and am set to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I only regret sometimes the toll it takes on all three of my boys. Tom is often left alone with them so that I can work out. The benefits are for everyone, including him, that I am healthy, but I can't help feeling a little guilty.

Perhaps it is just a sad day for me. I miss my boys but not the old me, and I like these muscles that are forming and the endurance I have been building. I guess it is a trade off. I was not fat and happy, so something's gotta give.

I keep telling Max as soon as he is old enough, he can come running with me.